Receiving validation from other people feels rather good, so good that some people develop an addiction to receiving that outside approval instead of being motivated intrinsically. If you can’t motivate yourself without someone else’s approval, out may suffer from an approval addiction.

You’re Obsessed with Getting People to Express Interest in You

You like being on social media, dating sites, or in any situation where you can attract people and get their attention by having them express interest in you. It might even be hard for you to settle down with a partner because you enjoy the dating world more than the partnered-up world.

You Need Constant Reassurance

When you are in a relationship, you find yourself asking whether they’re “mad” or “upset” with you. This may happen with lovers and friends, and even family members daily. If you often ask for reassurance about how someone feels about you, this may be due to a validation or approval addition.

You Like to Talk About Your Awesomeness

This may be weird, especially if you lack confidence, but sometimes people who aren’t confident will talk about all the impressive things they’ve done to appear more worthy than they think they are in the hopes that the people hearing the tale will agree and validate their thoughts about their awesomeness even though they don’t generally believe it themselves.

You’re Money Focused

If you tend to think more about money than the value you provide the world, you may have a problem with approval-seeking that is boarding on an addiction. Of course, money is important globally, but it’s not the only thing important about you or anyone else.

You Enjoy Name Dropping

If you find yourself dropping names of people you’ve worked with or met that other people find important, this is a sign of insecurity. You never need to make yourself look better by your company because you are special just as you are without anyone else.

You Make Friends with Folks Based on Their Wealth or Reputation

When you look at your closest friend group, are they really your friends, or did you pick them based on what you think they can offer you? Friends should be chosen based on shared values more than shared finances.

Your Beliefs Change Depending on The Company You’re Keeping

If you’re not keeping the same ideas and opinions across all friend and professional groups, you are part of, and you may be trying to please people too much. It’s okay to have your own fact-based ideas, thoughts, and opinions, and it’s okay for everyone else too. Hint: It’s also okay not to have any views or opinions about a topic you’re not educated enough about.

You Prefer Being in Control of Each Social Situation

When it comes to networking and making friends or building relationships, if you need to be the one in control of the event before you feel comfortable, you may have an issue with approval addiction. Letting other people oversee social situations and relationship building may seem scary because your self-esteem is low but letting people lead a clear sign that you are confident about your thoughts and ideas.

You Easily Feed into Your Own Victimhood

If something starts going wrong, do you have a hard time seeing answers within yourself? Do you place blame on others? Do you feel good and safe being a victim instead of admitting where you have control and where you can make the change?

Rejection Makes You Feel Out of Control

If you’ve ever been rejected professionally or personally, you know that it hurts. However, if you have an approval addition, it might make you totally flip out if someone rejects you because you are doing everything (in your mind) to give them what they want, but they don’t want it anyway. If you take this personally, consider that you’re not even really being yourself and this rejection is not personal at all.

If you often find that you’re doing anything that you don’t want to do, only to gain acceptance of a person or group, you may be a people pleaser and even have an approval addiction. To overcome this, you need to figure out who you are, your personal values and design a path to reach your goals based on your own values.

©2022 Nicole Berryhill, Ph.D. and Berryhill Omnimedia LLC - All Rights Reserved. Reproduction without permission is strictly prohibited and monitored.

 
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